We often hide our emotions, incorrectly express them, or doubt if we can express them properly.
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Many times, we want to convey our emotions to others to help them to know how we feel, but we are not able to. There can be many reasons for this – distrust, shyness, reluctance, or simply lack of confidence. Whatever the reason, not expressing our emotions can often lead to unpleasant consequences such as misunderstandings, apathy or detachment. When you feel the need to express your emotions, you must also think about how to express yourself articulately. For that, you must do the following:
Choose Positive Words Over Negative
“You take me for granted”sounds like an attack, whereas, “We must spend some quality time together – I feel less involved in your life” sounds more practical and sensible. Choosing to say positive words has a positive impact on the other person, and visa versa.
Weigh Your Emotions Before Expressing Them
Before you express your emotions, give yourself time to see if your emotions are a reaction that will pass with time, or will stay and disturb you for a long time. In either case, you can express how you are feeling to the other person, but you must also express the temporariness or the permanence of the emotion.
An angry reaction to your colleague using your computer in your absence is temporary if it does not happen regularly. You can alter your attitude, create a password for your computer, or gently tell the person that it disturbs you. On the other hand, your colleague’s intentionally using your computer in your absence to make you angry is a more serious problem. Here, you need to tell the person firmly to stop doing it, and also inform him/her of the action you will take if the issue persists. When your emotions are deeply involved, it is advisable to express them and let the other person(s) know exactly how their behaviour is impacting you.
Consider The Effect On Others
When you are deciding to articulate your emotions, you must not only think about your own feelings, but also how expressing them will impact the other person(s). Communicating your feelings may cause them to worry, make them treat you differently, may develop positivity and intimacy, may make them angry, etc. Depending on what kind of a reaction the other person may have on the communication, you may choose your reaction in advance. It will help you to manage the conversation better and achieve the desired outcome.
Have A Goal In Mind
After you communicate how you feel to another person(s), it may change your relationship with them, for better or worse. Having a clear idea of how you want the relationship to be will help you to tweak your communication accordingly. With some people, you may want only a professional relationship, a friendly yet somewhat reserved relationship, or an intimate relationship. Depending on the level of closeness you want or can expect, you may choose to disclose only the amount of emotions that is required.
Pdtraining delivers 1000’s of professional development courses each year in Wellington, Auckland, Napier, Christchurch, Hamilton, Dunedin and Tauranga, so you can be assured your training will be delivered by a qualified and experienced trainer.
All public Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Training courses include am/pm tea, lunch, printed courseware and a certificate of completion. Customised courses are available upon request so please contact pdtraining on 1300 121 400 to learn more.