People who are not vocal about their wishes and preferences are often misunderstood.
If you are looking to build your self-confidence, consider participating in the Assertiveness & Self Confidence Training Course offered by pdtraining in Christchurch and other cities in New Zealand.
To be able to speak confidently without sounding aggressive, rude or arrogant, you need to build your confidence on rational thoughts and positive feelings. If you are confident because you think that everybody else is inferior to you, then you will be confident but also arrogant. To remove any negative qualities that may crop up like weeds with the building of your self-confidence, you can use the tips below.
Value Yourself and Value Others
Just like others want to be valued by you, you also want to be valued by them. In the same way, if you want to be valued, others want to be valued too. Sounds confusing? In a sentence, everybody likes and wants to be valued. There must not be any hierarchy here. The wish of others to be valued is not greater than yours, and visa versa. So, you do not need to make sacrifices for others at your expense, and you should not expect that from others.
To build confidence, value yourself as an individual and create a limit as to how far you can go. If doing something for a person makes you feel bad, analyse why that is so. There is always a good reason why you feel what you feel. If you are not in the wrong, try to fix the situation instead of letting it be. Doing nothing about it is the worst choice here.
Value Your Opinion, But Listen
You must value your opinion and expect others to listen to you. They are free to agree or disagree with you, but they do not have the right to cut you short or turn a deaf ear to you. If somebody interrupts you, tell him or her to allow you to finish. After you have finished saying what you want to say, listen to the other person patiently.
Some of the things that you must not allow during communication are:
- Do not allow the other person to dominate you into submission. Let them have a sound argument that you can agree with.
- Avoid ego struggles. If the other person is growing irrational, begin to end the conversation. You can always pick it up later.
- If the other person begins to get abusive, stop the conversation right then. Expect an apology.
- Avoid biases and focus on how much both you and the other person can learn from the conversation.
Listening to alternative viewpoints is always useful, but make sure that the other person respects your opinions as well. Expect in return what you give.
Communicate Your Limits
Know how far you can go. Your personal limit can be regarding the efforts that you make for others, the time you spend with a person, or the resources you can spend. Make sure that you communicate your limit so that there are no unreasonable expectations from you.
Also, never go back and change your limits to suit others. You have set a limit for a good reason. Instead of making yourself uncomfortable, negotiate with the other person and make him or her understand your problem.
If the other person is reasonable, communicating honestly will help in overcoming differences and difficulties. If not, you can be sure the situation cannot be resolved. When facing a dead end, making compromises that you cannot live with must never be a consideration.
Pdtraining delivers 1000’s of professional development courses each year in Auckland, Christchurch, Wellington and other cities, so you can be assured your training will be delivered by a qualified and experienced trainer.
All public Assertiveness & Self Confidence Training courses include am/pm tea, lunch, printed courseware and a certificate of completion. Customised courses are available upon request so please contact pdtraining on 0800 003150 to learn more.